This blog post was supposed to be posted last week butttt it was my birthday so of course I did my bday blog instead. But anyhoo let’s get to reading.
A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with some of my older collegues. One asked me if I had a person, so obviously I said no…..explain to me why the man gave me a look like “I wonder what is wrong with her”, the other gave me a sympathy look like “oh my”. So of course I asked if that was a problem “in my head I was like wth lol”, they started to probe asking questions like: What’s my age, Why, When last I had someone etc. To be honest I felt comfortable answering their questions because
1. I am comfortable with them and
2. I was curious to know what these old men had to say.
So of course they started giving typical advice telling me I need to get a step on it, and that my time is running out. One asked me if I wanted to be old and lonely, they even went on to joke about me being 40 with a gigolo and such to keep me company *I nearly died when they said that* lol. Now I kind of knew that those things were coming because I get them all the time, like all the bloody time. I’m kind of sick of it.
Now I totally get where they were coming from and I do understand what they are saying, but I think that society has a negative perception when you are single. Sometimes I think when you tell someone you are single they automatically link it to you being unhappy or lonely. Last time I checked I am very happy, and I know others who can relate. Shit sometimes I think I’m enjoying my single years a bit too much, that someone who is actually interested in me I don’t see the signs until long after “I’m working on that tho”.
Many times people settle into the wrong relationships because
1. They have a fear of being alone and
2. A lot of the times people just settle for whatever just for the sake saying they’re in a relationship.
I see it all the time.
Being single is not all bad, and I can attest to that. It allows you to not lower your standards “which has its’ cons”. A lot of the times like in my case many people think if you are single it means you can’t find someone or you are aiming high. Maybe it is smarter to wait for the right person to come along than settling for all the wrong ones. When I say all the wrong ones, I’m talking about the ones who don’t meet the requirements that you look for in a partner.
Why is being single at age 14 and 15 is socially acceptable?
but as soon as you hit your mid and late 20’s, the pressure by family and friends is on and popping. I had to ask my colleagues if love and a relationship can be ordered online why they making it seem like it is so damn easy to come by lol “If amazon only sold love the world would be so amazing…*rolls eyes*”. Don’t get me wrong; love is beautiful, and I believe in it. But being in love and being in a relationship isn’t the same thing. Being in a relationship and being complete is definitely not the same thing and being single and being lonely are definitely NOT the same thing.
“So please don’t get it twisted people.”
Being single gives you the opportunity to really learn about yourself and it has helped me to find myself. I think that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself and I also think sometimes relationships aren’t healthy because the partners in the relationship don’t even know themselves. It is difficult to find a really happy and healthy relationship when you don’t know who you are and you’re not secure in yourself. That is where dating also plays a role because it gives you the time to learn about other people and what you like and dislike. Dating helps you sort through exactly what you know you want in your partner, that way you will never feel trapped in a relationship you have grown out of.
A great relationship will never hinder you or your individual life- it will only enhance it. But it takes time to find that person to have a great relationship with, and you should never feel bad about waiting for it or if you simply cannot find someone. You don’t find love; love finds you and you will know when the right one comes along. Being single can be terrifying, lonely and annoying at times to be honest “Trust me, as a single woman speaking here lol”. I completely understand that no one wants to be those things but you can’t rush what isn’t there, what you can do is find yourself, be happy with yourself and don’t rush the process. Trust it!
Until next week.
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